It’s OK To Ask For Help
Recently, our Prime Minister’s wife, Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau, expressed that she was feeling overwhelmed and that she needed help in her new role as the country’s “First Lady”.
Some people supported her. Others wrote angry posts.
No matter what people think about her request, the thing is, Sophie did something that many women never learn to do. She asked for help. She admitted she couldn’t do it all.
She set an example for all of us, for our daughters. This Prime Minister’s wife wasn’t going to pretend she could do it all. Thank GOD. What a relief. Because when the Prime Minister’s wife admits she is overwhelmed, it’s like a giant permission slip for all moms, no matter what our social status, financial picture, role or job, to do the same thing.
It took me 38 years to figure it out. To ask for help. To admit that I was completely overwhelmed as a mother, homeschooler, wife, housekeeper etc. I was carrying a load that was too heavy. And, it wasn’t until I reached a complete burnout that I was introduced to the practice of self-care.
So, when Sophie asked for help, I felt a familiar pang. I had been there. Needing help. Feeling overwhelmed. I kept it hidden mostly. I wish I’d been as brave as Sophie. And, I didn’t even have the whole world watching me.
I just want to reach out and hug all of you moms. Moms of newborns, moms of teens, moms of big families, adoptive moms, foster moms. You guys, we don’t have to do it all. We all need to learn self-care. You know, the foundation of any good self-care routine is being able to ask for help and admit when we are overwhelmed. How will you know that you need to clear some things off your plate if you never allow yourself to admit when it’s too much?
I think we need to get to the place where it’s ok for a mom, for ANY mom (even the Prime Minister’s wife) to speak up when it all gets to be too much.
The women who have gone before us and ran themselves into the ground have done us a great disservice. I know, they did the best they could. But, the truth is, we don’t have to be exhausted, overwhelmed, overrun to be a great mother or a great woman.
My burn-out actually taught me that the opposite is true. To be a great mom and a great woman, I need to practice self-care, speak up when my load gets too heavy and set boundaries to keep it all manageable. What happens when mothers learn to do that? We begin to thrive. And so do our families.
Some seasons are intense. And, if you’re in one of those seasons you might think I’m being a bit idealistic and naive. Here’s the thing. If you find even the smallest ways to practice self-care, say no to even the smallest of things, you will come out of your intense season a little less short of breath. And, that’s always good thing.
What else can you do to improve your self-care? Think about it. Then, take action. When we take good care of ourselves, we are showing everyone around us that being a mother doesn’t have to mean being exhausted all the time.
I really believe that Sophie needs the extra help. And I’m so glad she asked for it. I hope that more mothers can begin to feel free to do the same. Because, if the Prime Minister’s wife can do it, so can you.
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